Being Me, Being You

I don’t pretend to be a guru with ancient wisdom, passed down through the centuries.

I don’t pretend to know everything.

But I know that I can help you.

So why believe me?

I have always been interested in how people work, what they think, and their reactions to the world around them. I have always wanted to know what people are really saying when they’re talking to me. I find it difficult to take things at face value.

This has been a blessing and a curse in life, as sometimes you’d rather just believe the words someone tells you, rather than understand what they really mean!

I have been through periods of great stress and sadness in my life, and come out stronger. I have worked hard for many years, to understand myself, my relationships to others, and the differences between us. I have worked hard to understand how to overcome emotional, mental and physical obstacles in life.

That doesn’t mean that I have succeeded, as I think of this as a continuous journey. We are always changing. We are always evolving.

We are human. We have good days and bad days. We are essentially good, but are also essentially flawed. We aim to be the best we can, as long as we can forgive ourselves when we fall short of that ideal.

Why is it so hard to be kind to ourselves? In the 8 week mindfulness course I teach, this comes up in week 8. We need the 7 weeks lead up to it to be able to really think about what it means to be kind to ourselves. I find that, with many people, it is the difference between our expectations of ourselves, and the reality, that causes us stress and heartache. We put so much pressure on ourselves, especially in today’s society.

In today’s society we’re expected to be bigger, better, and basically just ‘more’. We’re expected to do more for less. We’re expected to achieve and be someone.

Sometimes, however, we just need to ‘be’.

We need to be ourselves. We need to give ourselves TIME to be ourselves: time to allow our thoughts and expectations to settle and time to understand and be happy with the fact that we’re just human.

And that’s ok. We’re ok.

There is so much pressure in life to be like others – to compare ourselves to others, to compete with others. Yet, most of the time we’re competing on attributes, skills or knowledge that aren’t necessarily our own particular strengths.

Take a moment, just for a short while, and imagine a society which appreciates you for being YOU; a society that celebrates uniqueness. Imagine how you would feel, knowing that you could be yourself. How would you feel?

When I consider this for myself, I find myself standing taller. I grow in confidence. I can do it!

Rather than focussing on the negatives, we focus on the positives. We minimise that ‘negativity bias’ that can be crippling. We reduce the negative self talk, which puts us into a small box and limits our inclination to explore, create and to just try things. We are less scared of failure. We’ve made a mistake? That’s ok. We’ll try again.

Imagine if you were able to harness that inner cheerleader. Rather than basing our own self worth on the opinions of others, we look inside ourselves. As we look at ourselves, and as we celebrate our own unique strengths, we become stronger and more able to withstand the storms of other people’s opinions.

It’s not easy! Otherwise we’d all be there, and we’d all be emotional giants. It’s a journey. It starts with a small step. It takes repetition. It takes falling off the horse and climbing back on it, without giving ourselves a hard time.

Often it takes someone to support us. To remind us of what we’re aiming for, and how far we’ve come on that journey.

This is how I can help. I’ve been there. I’m on my own journey. It’s not the same as your journey, but that’s ok. I’m your cheerleader, and I’m there to keep you on track.

By being the best ME, I can help you be the best YOU.